Four years ago, I wrote about the bittersweet blur of watching our oldest son finish high school. Back then, I was awash in questions: Had we done enough to help prepare our son for the world? Had we protected his spirit? Was he ready? Now, I find myself reflecting again – this time from the last row of Sonoma State University’s Green Music Center, watching him cross the stage as a college graduate.
It feels like yesterday and forever ago that we sat and listened to, “the day of ‘nevers,’” when my husband and I were lectured by a physician of all the things our first born would never do. Later that week our youngest son was born, and we made a choice to not allow that doctor’s words define our son.
It is surreal to report on our eldests most recent journey, that began at De Anza College, our local community college. There, balancing a full course load he began to work at our neighborhood grocery store. In two years, he completed his Associate Degree for Transfer and moved into student housing at Sonoma State, where he began his classes as a junior. There, he immersed himself in a program that emphasizes hands-on skills like camera operation, audio production, and digital editing.
On May 18, our son received his Bachelor of Arts in Cinematic Arts and Technology, with Distinction (something neither of his parents achieved). He was part of the inaugural graduating class of this brand-new major at Sonoma State.
As I watched him walk across that stage, I was overwhelmed with pride and gratitude. Gratitude for the village of people who have been there for him and allowed him to be himself. Gratitude for his brother, my husband and our steadfast bond. And most of all, for my son’s resilience, his determination, and his helping me to realize that the only person who can truly limit any one of us – is ourselves. He has been and continues to be, my greatest teacher.
Our family mantra has always been, “We will get there, in our time, in our way.” And indeed, he continues to be a living example of this for his father and me.
It goes SO fast.
Limitless
Thank you very much, Mom. I really appreciate it. I love you so much. I always have and I always will. Besides, we are part of the same Ohana.
You are my inspiration, I am so proud of you. Every. Single. Day.
Ooh my heart ❤️. I am sooo happy. Teary eyed Mama Cathy right now. Sooo proud of my Elijah, congratulations and Congratulations to you too Shari and Vinnie. You both are such an inspiration. Love you guys and miss you all soo much 😘
Thank you, Mama Cathy for being part of our forever Village. We all love you so much.
Wow!!!
Life never comes with a prescription only with lessons that forge the way to leading each of us on a path.
That path might be straight,
windy, bumpy, or even never ending but up to ALL of us to figure out our destiny.
Sending love and joy to all those you as Ethan follows his destiny.
Thank you, Sharon.
What a wonderful tribute to all of you but especially Elijah . So well deserved, and an example of what can be done with love, trust, guidance a lot of hard work. So proud of all of you-this a huge accomplishment for anyone and especially grateful for Elijah becoming a 4 year college grad. With love.
Thank you!
Your words are so beautiful, Shari — they brought tears to my eyes. We have watched your son grow and thrive despite the challenges he’s faced, and to see him graduating with honors as a senior in college was so very moving — no words!
Thank you, Karen for your kind words and for always supporting him and us.
Ummmm…wow! So very proud of E. Way to go mom and dad (and N) for always being the most supportive advocates and teammates. This makes my teacher heart so happy. Love you all.
Thank YOU, Kourtney. You helped him understand he belonged in a mainstream class (yours). We are so thankful for you, always.
Thank YOU, Kourtney! You were there at the start of his school journey, your support for him sustained us in ways you may never realize. Every child should be so lucky to have a Mrs. Ghelfi in their corner cheering them on.
Shari, I was so moved to read these words. Having been through the journey from being at he mercy of Bruno Bettleheim, to real research at Stanford looking at biology, and now genetics, your dedication, love, thoughfulness determination, so helped your son in this wonderful achievement. It was his, but with you both, and all the love you got from Ina and Steve. Love, wisdom and tenacity, what a formula indeed. Thank you for letting us in. I share all the thoughts of those who preceded, but most deeply the heart you let us see.
Thank you for your kind words, Bruce, I know you deeply understand the journey. I am thankful for our Village, which makes all things possible.
This is so wonderful!! Congratulations Elijah!! I love your family motto, I’m adopting it.
Thank you, Kelly!
This is so wonderful! Congratulations to E and his wonderfully supportive parents! Time sure did fly- it seems like it was not that long ago that E was in 2nd grade, then N followed a few years later, and getting to know them, and you, was nothing but inspiring!
Way. To. Go! 🎉
Thank you, Karen! It is hard to believe it has been a couple more than a couple of years since E was in your class. So thankful for you and Alana, our Laurelwood village gave him (us) the courage and support needed to make this possible.
WOW….Another of my amazing students graduating from college. Best for fabulous future!! Hugs to you and your fantastic family!!
And you were there at the beginning, puzzle pieces whizzing past your curls. . .
What a happy ending – and beginning! Congratulations to Elijah and his whole support team for showing us all what dedication, belief and advocacy can accomplish. Here’s hoping you’ve taught that doctor-and any other misguided naysayers along your journey- to expel “never” from their vocabularies. Bravo!
Thank you, Marcie!
This is wonderful and amazing… but not surprising. Having seen what amazing parents you are, your supportive family and wider network and not least the wonderful, hardworking and determined boy and man that E was and is this could be the only outcome. You have long been a source of inspiration for me and my family and will continue to shine the way on what is possible! Well done!
Thank you, Elaine! We miss you all very much.
Congratulations Elijah and Grande & Co,
I am so happy and proud of you on this amazing accomplishment. Smart people go far and you are one of the smarties. I know the future holds great things for you and I wish you the absolute best as you embark on your next adventure!
Thank you, Selam!
Thank you for sharing this beautiful tribute to your family’s resilience and to Elijah’s steadfast dedication to his studies. His accomplishments are remarkable and all the support you and Vinnie and your parents gave him over the years definitely paid off. Sending much love and congratulations to all of the Grandes.
Thank you, Susie!
So proud of you, Elijah! You set your goals and accomplished them!
You have an amazing family, Shari. All the best to everyone!!
Thank you, Cathy!
We are thankful for you, for your dedication and patience, your support has been invaluable to Elijah’s success. We’re so grateful for you.